Okay, it's time to set a few things straight. Obviously Muffy/Muffin/Muffmeister (or whatever he/she wishes to call him/herself) is attempting to put words in my mouth, and to ignore the logic and reasoning behind my statements.
About a month ago I wrote an entry about the homeless in San Francisco, and the problems and controversy surrounding public toilets and the homeless. Now, Muffy is all in a tiff over my comments and is calling me a plethora of names in retaliation (which I might add is "mean spirited"). In that article I clearly expressed my dislike for the homeless population. Now, I will clarify.
To start, I understand that many of the homeless are mentally ill. I understand that particularly in California they cannot get treatment because of legislation passed in the 1960's which closed down all publicly funded mental institutions. People with mental illnesses are not usually responsible for their state. However, drug and alcohol abuse can lead to brain damage and mental illness--choices which people make. But more on that later. Personally knowing individuals suffering from mental illnesses, I realize that it can be very difficult to function in society. For some of the mentally ill, their conditions
are treatable, with medication. However, many mentally ill individuals
choose to not take their medications, keeping them from being able to take care of themselves. That is nobody's responsibility but their own.
Children also are in a difficult position. However there is a caveat. When I say children I mean very young children who are not capable of taking care of themselves or making proper decisions. Obviously a five-year-old will not be able to provide for him/herself, or to make good decisions. However, their parents should be held accountable for their poor decisions. People should not have children when they cannot afford them. Either use protection, or don’t have sex. It is child abuse to have a child you cannot love and support. Those children should be taken away from their parents and put in situations where they can be cared for and given their basic needs. Those parents should also be punished for child abuse for not providing adequate food, shelter, and care for their kids.
Teenagers are an entirely different story. When a teen
chooses to run away, they are
choosing a lifestyle, and everything which comes with it. Certainly in some cases these runaway teens come from bad family situations. But, they are old enough to be able to make that decision and be responsible for that decision. Running away isn't the only option. There are many safer and better alternatives. Many turn to drugs and crime, and drop out of school. Those are
choices. Even if someone literally held a gun to your head and told you to take drugs, commit crimes, and drop out of school or die, it's still a choice. But seriously, how many times does that actually happen? Not enough to count. So, I have no pity for those runaway homeless teens on the street begging for money. Especially when they're spending the change you give them on drugs (many are so forward as to say that's what they plan to spend it on). These teens made poor decisions, and now they have to take responsibility for their decisions. I faced some very difficult situations in my youth, and I had to make choices regarding those situations. However, I made good choices which allowed me to be where I am, and to have what I have today.
Those who end up on the street because of drug and alcohol abuse also are there as a result of their own
choices. I, nor anyone else, is responsible for another individual's decision to take drugs or drink alcohol. When someone presents you with heroine, you have a choice to take it or pass it up. Addiction to drugs or alcohol is no excuse, because at some point you had to start. As soon as you made the decision to begin abusing drugs and alcohol, you made a choice which would affect the rest of your life. And there are always opportunities to clean yourself up. Those are more choices. Choices which nobody else can make for the individual. I can't force someone to clean themselves up, and neither can you. They have to choose to do it themselves. Certainly, it can be difficult for abusers to get help, or to recognize they need help. But, once again, they chose their lifestyle, and all that came with it.
Criminals who end up on the street also get no pity from me. Once again, they
chose to commit crimes. They chose to make bad decisions. They chose to pick a lifestyle which made it difficult for them to find a place to live, difficult to find a job, difficult to earn respect and trust. When you choose to steal, rape, murder, or commit other crimes, you are making a choice which will affect the rest of your life. You have to live with that choice and all of the consequences. It's not my fault if an individual chooses to lead a life of crime. And it's not my responsibility to suffer and pay the consequences of that individual's choices. If their choices land them on the street, they are responsible for dealing with those choices.
Except for small children, individuals can make their own choices about what path to follow in life. Certainly decisions can be tough, and can be riddled with consequences. But, when you make a choice, you are also choosing to be responsible for any accompanying consequences. Once again, this is a symptom of our society's inability to accept blame and responsibility for its own actions. People are too ready to sue or blame someone else for their own decisions.
I don't appreciate being harassed as I walk to work, or school, or in my own neighborhood by homeless people. I don't appreciate being yelled at, spit at, cursed at, having things thrown at me, being chased, and nearly assaulted by homeless individuals who feel that I owe them something for their mistakes. It’s not my responsibility to fix their problems. There is no reason I should give them any of my hard-earned money to support their lifestyle. I will not pay them to live on the streets in my neighborhood. I will not give them positive reinforcement to urinate and defecate in front of my house. I will not reward their efforts to harass, intimidate, and assault me in order to make a few cents. I will not give them a reason to hang out in the doorway of my workplace, litter on my streets, or sleep on the BART train which I am paying both fares and tax dollars to pay for.
Regardless of Muffy’s
assumption that I am rich and spoiled and that my “Daddy” has funded my education and my every whim, I work hard for everything I have. My parents
did not pay for my education. I paid for it myself, and with the help of a scholarship which I earned by working hard for. If I hadn’t received that scholarship I would have had to work and earn money to pay for my own college education. My family is far from rich. I come from your average lower middle class family. My father worked in a bucket factory, and my mother was a homemaker. We survived on only my dad’s income. Everything we had my parents worked hard to earn. Despite the fact that we lived paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes couldn’t pay all of our bills, I had everything I needed. My parents always made sure that they provided the necessities for survival. Other than that, I didn’t have a whole lot. And, even if I were rich and spoiled, that wouldn’t mean that I should have to suffer with the decisions of homeless individuals. It still wouldn’t make me responsible for their choices.
It all comes down to a very simple idea. I am responsible for my actions. When I make a choice, no matter how difficult that choice is, I am electing to also take responsibility for any consequences which come along with it. Not being “educated” or “informed” enough is not an excuse for making poor choices. There is no reason you cannot research your choices, or think them through further. Failure to do so is also a
choice. Nobody else is responsible for my choices and actions. Nobody else is responsible for fixing my mistakes. What other people choose to do is their responsibility, and nobody else’s. It all comes down to personal responsibility, which I know is a dirty and horrible concept to many liberals. It’s so easy to blame someone else, and to let them fix it.
So I urge you, Muffy, to put your money where your mouth is. If you feel so passionate that the homeless are poor innocent victims who deserve so much more than they have, then invite them into
your home. Give them
your hard earned money. Take responsibility for their choices and problems yourself. Allow them to urinate and defecate on
your lawn. Allow them to rob, harass, and assault you. Enough of my money goes via taxes to pay for homeless shelters, welfare, and other homeless assistance and programs. If the homeless
choose not to take advantage of those resources to fix their mistakes, it’s not my responsibility. Just as it wouldn’t have been the responsibility of some homeless person to fund my education if I hadn’t received that scholarship.
Dear Karen,
Thursday would have been your 22nd birthday. It's still hard to imagine that you were taken from us last year. Truth is, I still haven't fully accepted it. I
know you're gone, but a part of me seems to think that maybe it's just that I haven't heard from you in a while. Though it's been nearly 15 months, I still haven't removed your name from my phone book, or your email address from my address book. Everytime I see your name, staring out at me, I think to myself that it's silly to keep it there. But I can never bring myself to delete it. Perhaps I'm afraid that to delete your name will delete you from my memory. But that could never be true, and I know that. I still just don't want to accept it.
If I had you here now I'd tell you how mad I am at you for making the poor decisions which took you from us. You knew better, Karen. You were so much smarter than that. And then I'd tell you that I'm still angry at myself for putting you off for so long. It had only been two months earlier, at Tito's party that we promised each other that we would get together really soon. No more putting it off because we were so busy. And then, before we could keep our promise, you were gone.
But, I know you're still around. Every now and then something reminds me of you. In perhaps an odd twist of fate, I keep finding myself at the Coliseum watching the A's play the Rangers. And everytime Alex Rodriguez steps up to the plate, I think of you. It's like you're there cheering in the stands with me, and proudly boasting that you're going to marry him someday. It never fails to send that chill down my spine. And sometimes I'll see someone who looks almost just like you. A few times I had to pause for a second, because the semblance was almost uncanny. And then there are the dreams. It wasn't more than a few weeks ago that you appeared in my dreams again. Why you randomly appear in my dreams, I don't know. But it's a bittersweet reminder of the friendship we shared.
We all miss you greatly Karen. We hope you know that none of us have forgotten you. You touched so many lives, and it was tragic you had to go. But a part of you still lives within each of us. Your friendship, and leadership, and presence made all of us better and stronger people. The world lost a beautiful person when it lost you. But, you live through all of us now. And so in a way, I guess you're not really gone.
Just know that we all love you and miss you, Karen. Smile down on us from heaven, like you did when you were here.
Danielle
P.S. "I hate me too." ;)
