A woman in India has married a statue. At first glance I'd say she's insane. But perhaps she's tired of all the horrible men out there. The jerks, the losers, the self-absorbed guys, the commitment phobes, the abusers, the cheaters, and the disgusting. When it comes down to it, most guys have something seriously wrong with them. And the few good men that are out there are typically already snagged. Think of all the benefits of having a statue for a husband. He can't beat you, he can't stray, he can't talk back, he can't lie to you. And if she is insane...at least
she's found the one.
Sent to me via email, this piece exemplifies the kind of stupidity rampant in our society and courtrooms today, while being cute and clever!
Well Written Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium.
No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only
worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Once again it's Wednesday. And that means another Wild Web Wednesday Website of the Week!
If you have a boring answering machine message check out
the Brooklyn Telephone Theater for something loads better!
In another move that threatens to topple American culture, value, and norms in place of "multiculturalism" (aka anything but white, European and traditional American culture) the
Pledge of Allegiance was moments ago ruled unconstitutional. Why? All because of the words "under God" added by Congress in the 1950's. We wouldn't want people to have to be put in awkward situations which may offend them or their culture. And having teachers lead the Pledge in class would be setting the idea that this is what's "right." But all of the other controversial stuff that teachers attempt to pass as "fact" in the class room is ok. Though it's just more social engineering to turn our children into mindless idiots that the government can manipulate however they like.
Death to America...that's exactly what's happening. It may not be the kind of terrorism we saw on 9/11, but it's a terrorism of a more subversive kind. It threatens not to kill people, but our society. And we don't need Muslim extremists to do it. We're doing it to ourselves.
