Fifty years from now, I sit comfortably and quietly on my porch swing, remembering the past. A stack of photo albums lay on the floor beside me. I hold one open in my hands, flipping slowly through the pages. And as I slowly wander the pages of my past, memories begin to flutter through my mind, until soon I am no longer in the present.
I remember falling deeply in love. Meeting that person with whom I had a deep and unbreakable connection. We shared a passion and commitment to each other that was stronger than anything else. We promised to cherish each other always, to always be faithful, to always put the other first. We spent a long time just getting to know each other. Learning the ups and downs, the ins and outs of the other person. And after much time together, he proposed. It was nothing outrageous, but it was definitely an emotional and meaningful moment. He had put careful thought into what he would say, and where, and how. I remember crying when he presented me with the most stunning ring. It was simple, yet elegant. I knew he had spent time trying to find the perfect one. The next few months were a rush of excitement as we prepared for the wedding. And when the day finally came, it was beautiful. Everyone was happy that day, especially us. We couldn’t wait to start our lives together.
A few years later we had our first child, a daughter. She had his eyes, his smile, my hair. And we brought her home to a house filled with love. Not long after came our second child, a son. He was strong and feisty. He put up a fight coming out, and I knew that he was going to be a handful. Raising our children was always our first priority. We did everything we could to be sure that our children grew up in a loving, but disciplined environment. They were taught right from wrong. They were encouraged to be the best and brightest they could be. They were loved unconditionally. And our family had many memories of Christmas mornings with paper flying through the air, and happy grins filling the room. Vacations to places new and exciting, where memories were made, and adventures had. Boisterous birthday parties overflowing with excited children. Proud moments as together we watched our children pass through each milestone in their lives. And soon our children had grown up. They had been through high school, and first dates, and proms, and graduations. Sure, there were struggles. There were fights. But behind it all, there was always love and respect for each other. Our family was strong.
Soon they were all grown up, leaving my husband and myself to a quiet home, and an open future. We had always managed to find time for ourselves even while raising our children. We had always made sure that we still loved and cherished each other. And when the nest was empty, that love was still there. As our children experienced college, and first loves, we took trips to places we had once only dreamed about. We spent weekends pursuing long forgotten dreams, and enjoying lazy days just talking and cuddling like we did when we were young.
And there were other memories, though not as special as those with family and each other. Memories of working hard in our youth to achieve our dreams. Pursuing passions and goals through our careers. We always supported each other in our endeavors, and made sacrifices for each other when absolutely necessary. And we found success in what we did, though not without trail and error. There were many tough times, like when our children were first born, where money was tight. I stayed home for the first few years to raise the children. And when they were old enough to go to school, I began pursuing work again. And as they got older, and less dependent on me, I began to work more. Soon, I was attending law school, studying mediation. I worked tireless hours studying, raising my children, and working. But without the support and sacrifice and undying love of my husband, we never would have made it through. He worked long hours himself, but always made sure that our family was well taken care of. And had it become too difficult I would have put aside school for a few more years. But we always worked it out. I took my time so as not to be overwhelmed, and overburdened. And just as my children were nearing college age themselves, I was walking that stage once again. And when my children were all grown, I had the time to be able to pursue the career of my dreams. My husband in the meantime had been advancing steadily in his career. He worked hard to grow and prosper, and soon he found himself right where he wanted to be. And despite all of his hard work, and the sometimes long hours and days, he always put family first. Both of us would have sacrificed everything for family, because we knew that without family we were nothing.
There were also memories of buying our first house. It was a beautiful home, with a large yard. We spent countless hours rebuilding, repairing, redecorating. But we made that house our home. It was where we raised our children. And it was where we made many memories. We turned that house from a plain and ordinary dwelling, to a warm and inviting haven for family and friends. It had everything we needed, and much that we wanted. It was always changing and improving as we added all of the little touches that made it our own.
Turning the last page of the last photo album I realized that my life had been filled with many hard times and many good times. But, together with our family, we always pulled through everything. Love kept us sane, and love kept us together. And now in my old age, I realize that I led a good life, because I made it that way. And I honestly had no regrets. Everything in my life worked out in one way or another. There were things I had to sacrifice. Dreams I had to let go of. But I didn’t regret it for a moment, because I had lived a full and blessed life. I had made the most out of everything, out of every day. I had things that nothing else could fully replace--a strong marriage, a loving family, and memories which no one could ever take away.
It is Wednesday, and though I'm a little late, here's the Wild Wednesdays Website of the Week!
www.newgrounds.com
The ultimate cure-all for boredom. Games, videos, laughs, and fun!
The following is a comment I wrote in response to a post on another site, joy.blogspot.com. I decided to post my comment, and to expand a little further.
My great grandmother lived to two months shy of her 96th birthday. Her body was weak and frail, and she couldn't do much for herself anymore. Refusing to be put in a home, she lived all but her last three or four days in her own home. Her last few days were spent in a hospital bed, but I know she would have been happier had she passed in her own bed. My mother took care of her every day, driving up to her house to clean her house, make her food, and bathe and dress her.
My grandmother may have been weak in body, but she was stonger in mind and spirit than almost anyone I know. I remember in the months before her passing visiting with her. She'd talk to me about how I liked my classes at Berkeley, and then she'd recall memories from 40 years earlier when she had been there for some event. She'd recall memories of me, like from when I was four and I was reading the newspaper to her. Her mind never slipped her. I could spend hours talking to her while my mother cleaned her house. Even to her last day her mind was strong as ever. And her faith in God and spirit never waivered either. Since she was too weak to attend church, my mother would pick up taped sermons and play them for her while she rested in her bed. She was a very spiritual woman, with a deep faith in life.
I admire my great grandmother. I can only hope to live as full and fulfilling a life as she did. She lived 96 years, and she lived them fully. She had no regrets, no loss of faith. Despite her physical weaknesses, she was the strongest woman I have ever known. She saw and did more in her years than most people could boast. She took every opportunity to live fully. She was kind and loving, and everyone felt the same towards her. Everyone was family to her. As a matter of fact, we weren't even related by blood--only by love. She was a very close friend of my Great Grandfathers, and for as long as I can remember I had called her "Grandma Nell." But her love was no less for me than her own grandchildren. And through her last days she always managed to show that love to everyone in her life.
Sometimes though people lose their sanity as they get old. Perhaps it's luck. Perhaps it's how you live your life. But I know for myself, I hope to never face that prospect. I can only imagine how painful it would be for an intelligent and vibrant person to realize that every day they slip more and more away from reality. I would rather lose my physical abilities than my mental abilities. Somehow I think that deep in the mind of those who are mentally ill, or who are losing their sanity is a little piece of their old self, or their true self, struggling to escape the horror and the torture of a mind that isn't all there. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I hope to never find out.
It's been a few days, I know. Friday and Saturday I was camping, and yesterday...well I guess there's no excuse.
I'm currently in the process of interviewing for a job. I have a phone interview Wednesday morning. The position is as a case manager for a Mediaiton firm in San Francisco. Pays great, the environment sounds great, the location is great, and it's right up my alley. Seeing as I already am a volunteer mediator in my community, and I techincally train other people in how to do the job I would be doing (case development) I would be a perfect candidate.
I've already gotten through the first interview with the staffing agency guy, and he's personally delivered my application and resume. He called me today and said that they are very interested in me, and want to get the process rolling ASAP. So, first the phone interview, and then if I pass that I go in to meet them in person. There I'll check out the office, the people that work there, the job itself, and then they will interview me one on one.
I'm really, really hoping this job works out. I want it so bad!
